generosity.

My family are the most generous people I know (other than Jesus). I try to model my generosity from them (because I see my heart and often I don't feel like I'm very generous). In their individual ways and circumstances, they are open-handed with everything they have: my parents welcome anyone into their homes and love them and treat them as family; my sister and her family constantly give possessions away because someone else may benefit from them; my brother and his family give their time, energy, gifts and skills for others benefit (even when they don't feel like they have the time, energy, gifts and skills); my sister and her husband are constantly looking out for the needs of others – what words can they speak to bring life, where can they buy a gift; my husband is so generous with his love – he doesn't differentiate between who is deserving or not, he just loves. This is just a start of their generosity.

I am trying to be generous. I want to be generous. Generosity is powerful. It is life changing.

A few times recently, I have tried to be generous to strangers.

Yesterday, I was in a shop and a man was looking at some jewellery at the counter. He decided on what he was going to buy but realised it wasn't enough for the $15 EFTPOS limit. He said he'd go to the ATM and after a few minutes I decided to give him the money. It wasn't much (because of a great discount it ended up only being $3) but he refused to take it. He didn't want me pitying him. I didn't pity him, I just wanted to bless him. But he couldn't take it. He left to look for an ATM and I put my $3 back in my wallet.

Late last year, I was in a cafe and as I went to pay my bill I asked the man at the counter if I could pay for two ladies sitting at another table. He asked if I knew them, and I said I didn't, and he refused to take my money. He wouldn't let me pay for a stranger. We had a lot of back and forth (it got a little heated) but he wouldn't accept it. I paid my bill and left.

I was in Woolworths, probably about 12 months ago, and an elderly lady was in front of me at the checkout. She was just short on the cash (old people never seem to use cards) to pay for all of her groceries. I saw the situation and handed her $20. It wasn't a big deal to me. She didn't want to, but finally accepted the cash, but wanted to know how to repay me. I told her that I didn't want to be repaid. She left but only a minute or so later, returned with $20 for me which she had borrowed from a friend she just saw. 

Being generous is harder than I thought. I think, in general, we want to be known as generous people and we want to see generosity around us. We give a lot to the poor, help out those in need, but don't want to receive. We don't want to be seen as the one in need. It's easy to give (especially when we have plenty) but hard to receive.

I want to be one who walks around with open hands and an open heart: ready to give and ready to receive. Who is thankful for what is given and gives in return. A gift is useless unless it is received and used.

Today is Good Friday, and as we reflect on what Jesus has done for us, on his painful, self-sacrificial death to give us life, I want to take the gift he has given and live a life based on his generosity. I want to continue being generous and hope that someone receives what I gave and that changes their life because they see Jesus.

I want to keep thinking of new ways to be generous: with my money, my time, my energy, my skills, my passions, my words, my thoughts. Generosity is a heart thing which reveals itself in actions. I am undergoing heart surgery, I can't wait to see the results.

Image sourced from http://delmelinscott.blogspot.com.au/2013/08/open-handed-god.html.

On the site where I found this image, the writer had written this:

Even though God knows that much of this generosity will be abused by some, neglected by others, and demanded by us, he continues to be open-handed.

I want to be like God. I want to be open-handed towards him and in response to him.